Saturday, July 21, 2007

Why I love Vegas

Man, I haven't done that in a while. I started drinking with an old college buddy Thursday about noon and I just got out of bed a couple of hours ago in Las Vegas-a different city than we started in. Here's what I have found out so far:
  • My amex receipts are over 7k including 2 1st class tickets for a 1200 mile flight(It's gonna be more because I still have to pay for a flight back) and a 2k advance for gambling-I guess I lost cuz I got about 50 bucks now.
  • I have no idea where my friend is that I flew here with-probably back home and his wife is gonna be some pissed
  • I have a black eye and my nose hurts a lot-I must have got punched but I don't remember and my knuckles don't hurt which means I didn't hit anyone. I also have blood on my shirt.
  • I have never stayed in this hotel before but they sure treat you well. When I called the front desk this morning to find out where I was they sent me up a complimentary breakfast of bagels and lox and a split of champagne so I guess they know I lost some money on the tables.
Holy Shit!!! Great news!! I just got finished talking to a casino host who called me. It turns out I won about 9 grand on the craps table and was so drunk that they put my money in the cage and put me in this room which is actually damn nice and they are comping me. When I told him that I had no change of clothes or anything, he offered me a 30% discount at their men's clothing store so I guess I'll head down there and hope they have tall sizes. When I asked him about the blood on my shirt and my black eye, he was told that I turned up at the tables like that so I gotta find out what the fuck happened. He also said I showed up alone so I guess buddy abandoned me.

That's what I love about Vegas. I show up here after an all nighter of boozing, go to the tables, probably make a complete asshole of myself and they look after me.

Well, I've got 17 messages on my cellphone so I'm sure there are some answers in there but I don't have much battery left and no charger with me so I gotta find one before I can check them out. I'm in no hurry because there will be some shit waiting in those messages as well as I was supposed to be at a dinner party last night back home and have a date tonight with a young chick I've been working on for a couple of weeks but with 9 grand sitting in the cage downstairs, that ain't gonna happen.

I'll phone and tell her to get her ass over here. That'll be a good qualifier for her.

All right, lots to do. Check back in a couple of days for the gory details cuz I think this is my last hour of sobriety for another 48 hours.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

How to meet a younger woman online

I've hooked up with a few women who I initially met on an online dating site-all under 35 and here's how I do it.

  • Post a very recent picture (I often hold up a copy of USA Today with the date on it) and let it be known you expect the same type of photo.
  • State your true age
  • If you want the woman to be attractive then say so.
  • State that you are looking for someone in a certain age range (23-35 for me) and be very clear that you won't answer anyone outside of that range.
  • There is no need to justify why you are looking for someone in the age group-they know why.
  • Be very clear what your goals are-if you aren't looking to get married then say so
  • If you have money then tactfully state it. I say "Successful retired business man who knows how to treat a lady to the finer things in life." If you don't have money, you're going to have to widen the age gap up to (god forbid) as much as another 20 years if you're busted out.
  • No matter how tight money is, always take out the platinum or gold or whatever the highest level of membership is. It signifies you're a player.
  • Don't lie about anything-but omissions are not always lies
  • Don't contact any women yourself because most women in your age group aren't going to be interested in you and that's a lot of wasted effort-let the interested ones come to you.
It's a numbers game. 10,000 women look at your profile, 5,000 fit it, maybe 5% have no problem with your age and will contact you and 1/2 of them are what you are looking for. Do the math-that's over 100 that you get to start communicating with. There will be a few scores in there-believe me.

But it's a lot of fucking work and you have to be organized and brutal. Don't worry about sending off 3 or 4 emails to a woman and then deciding you aren't interested. Don't try and be Mr Nice Guy, just don't email her anymore-they'll do the same to you. Remember it's a numbers game.

Is it worth it?


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007

The iPhone is a piece of shit and so is your face

You know how I feel about the iphone, well here is a review from a guy called Maddox who will be an old rogue in a few years,
read more | digg story

Older women really do hate me

On Saturday night, I was reminded why older women have absolutely no place in my life. After dinner and a concert I returned with my lady to the hotel. We were staying on the club level of a nice hotel so decided to go for a nightcap in the lounge which is for the use of people staying on that level only. There were 3 other couples in there, mid forties and had obviously had a few drinks as they were quite noisy. No problem, a quick drink and we're off to bed.

As soon as we walked in, I get the looks I'm used to when I'm with someone 35 years younger than me. The men smirk and the women try to hide their shock. I acknowledge them with a courteous smile and we go to sit in the corner by the window when 1 of the men asks us to join them. My companion is fine with it so I say "Sure" as I get myself ready for what I know is to follow.

It was pretty much the same old shit. The men are very friendly to both of us with the normal questions"Where you from, how long are you in town, what have you been doing here etc etc". all the while looking at my lady who is absolutely stunningly exquisite tonight. She is doing a Phd and delights them with her charm,wit and low cut dress. Of course, the women are trying to look non-plussed but they are fuming. They are absolutely ignoring us, especially my lady. One of the men tells me he is an attorney and when I ask what his specialty is, his wife pops in with "divorce, support, you know, marital stuff." And then it comes as she looks directly at me and with a big smile says "Do you need his card?" I laugh out loud and everyone was obviously somewhat embarrassed but Mrs Lawyer never expected what came next and for that matter, neither did I.

My lady : "Why would he need your husband's card?"
Lawyer's Wife: "Well I didn't say he needed it did I dearie? I simply inquired didn't I"
ML: "Dearie? Did you call me dearie? I have an IQ over 160, a 4.0 average, am a lab instructor at a top 5 medical school in a subject that most people can't even spell, have job offers from 4 of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world, and I don't take shit from anyone especially someone who marries an attorney. So don't call me dearie"

SILENCE!!! Then I stand up, take her hand and say to them, "Hope you enjoy the rest of your evening."

What followed was probably the best sex I have had in years-maybe ever.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Vibrator sales are sure to increase.

On a site called Totally Savvy Woman (how's that for an oxymoron?) it says
"Statistics show
that many healthy baby boomers, ESPECIALLY boomer women, will live to be 100 years old, and possibly longer?"

My god, I can hardly stand to look at a 40+ woman today, let alone screw one. What are all these wizened up old bags going to do for sex? I gotta get some vibrator manufacturing companies in my stock portfolio.

My 2nd car was my best car ever.

I bought a brand new 1966 GTO for just under 5 thousand and in retrospect, it was the car that I liked the best of any car I have ever owned. After my MGA was stolen, I decided it was time for an American muscle car and while this baby had lots of muscle (400 cid) it was also a thing of beauty. Of course, the women loved it and there was plenty of room in it for getting down to business. The only thing I didn't like about it was that it was an automatic which was just stupidity on my part for not waiting a few weeks to get a 4 speed, but I couldn't wait. It had a great low pitch tune to the engine and when the 4 barrel kicked in, it was like a symphony.

I've owned some great cars like Porsche, BMW,Vettes and Benzs that cost over 20x what my Goat did but this is the only one that I wish I still had. If you ever owned a GTO, you know exactly what I'm, talking about.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

How do you know when a younger woman is interested in you?

Despite being able to be with much younger women, it wasn't always so. As a matter of fact probably about 95% of younger women aren't at all interested in us old farts. But, when they are, you have to recognize the signs and make your move before they lose interest.

It all starts with the man of course-men start most good things in life. It's easier to go after a woman in a group because she feels safer than if you approach her by herself. If I'm interested in someone, I usually ignore them and talk to their friends-either male or female, doesn't matter. I know I look older but I dress very well and am tall, not unattactive and reasonably slim so most younger people will return my conversation. You need to make a couple of key points quickly but subtly that impresses the group and of course your mark. You become the center of conversation and establish rapport with everyone but her. Like I said before, it's often about money so make sure they know you have it-but be tactful. There is a fine line between bragging and confidence. If she's interested, she'll make the first move because she's starting to feel left out. You acknowledge her but show no interest. This is the critical point. If she's interested, she'll become aggressive with you and you let her take control (or so she thinks.) You've got about 10 minutes to get a number or email address and then leave. That's right-Leave!!. If you can't get a contact point on her, make sure she has yours. If they're interested, they'll call. But remember, you're probably the first older guy she's interested in and this is unfamiliar and probably scary ground for her. It won't always work-my hit rate is about 1/3rd if I can get a contact point. Others I share this with are probably around 10%. So it's a lot of work but oh baby, well worth it.

More to follow.

Another comment to make my point

"I confess, a couple of years ago before I was wise enough to give up on dating, I tried a mistake. The old coots are always looking for women 20 years younger - it seemed 99% of the men "my age" (55 at the time) were only interested in women no older than 35 and of course they had to be "athletic" and in perfect shape. The only men who would consider dating some old bag like me were at least 10 years older than me - but of course their prospect woman had to still be "athletic" and in great shape." Posted by: Melinda

Right. Exactly. We may be old coots but we get the 35 year olds-well, not me that's usually a little too old. So you gave up on dating. Good, another one who finally gets it.

Replies to the losers

After my post about why older men prefer younger women, I got attacked on a site run by some old bitty called Ronni Bennett and her gang of merry dykes. I think out of about 30 comments, 3 were men (probably either gay or pussy whipped) and the rest, old broads who identified very clearly with my post and lashed out at me for it.
So let's look at a few of their comments:

"In more practical terms, though, our attention just feeds Mr. Troll and any linkage pours credibility and the potential for ad-revenue into his sorry blog"Posted by: Betsy Devine

What a dumb hag. First of all, you'll never see an ad on here-I make more in interest in 1 day off my useless T bills than most people writing blogs make off the internet in a year. Secondly, why am I a troll? because she doesn't agree with me? Stunned bitch.

"He's been metaphorically humping to fill a deep void ever since."Posted by: MotherPie

This one is hilarious. I don't hump old broads so I haven't really found any deep voids.

"I am so thankful that I have been married for 43 years and have not had to have contact with anyone like him." Posted by: kenju

Trust me, there is no fucking chance I would ever even talk to an old bitch like you. 43 years huh? And you think the old man has never dipped his wick outside the marriage a few times? ROTFLMAO

"To him it means the highest amount of sexual gratification with the minimum of financial and intellectual expenditure." Posted by: Mark Maunder

Mark, I think you may be projecting here. I'll give you the first part of your comment, sexual gratification is important, but I spend a fortune on women. Because I like the finer things in life, whoever I am with at a particular point gets to share them with me. I just spent a few days in Vegas with a gorgeous young lady and my tab was over $10k just for room, food, drinks etc. What really sucked is I also lost on the tables and the cheap pricks would only give me a future comp. But I don't expect you have a fucking clue what that means Mark.

OK gotta fly but I'll be posting more replies to this bevy of beauties from the old girl's blog.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Less than a week in and I've already been attacked by someone who calls herself a crabby old lady and someone else who thinks he's Sherlock Holmes.
Oh well, some people can't handle the truth. I'll be responding to their comments on here over the next few days. But I doubt the crabby old elderblogger (her words, not mine) will be able to reply because she's too busy wallowing around in self pity on her blog about growing older.

Cars have been a big influence in my life

This is my first beauty, a 1962 MGA twin cam. I got it as a high school graduation gift for getting a B average. Yeah, I was a spoiled brat but that's the joy of your old man being a celebrity and making a lot of money. He had to spend it somewhere right? Don't even ask what an A average would have delivered, but I was damn happy with this and it was a hell of a lot more credible with the women than my mother's Cadillac.

It was a couple of years old and midnight blue. It was fast, fun, and most importantly the chicks loved it. But it was almost impossible to screw in this (especially when you're 6'7", but you can't have everything.) It was terrible in the rain and totally undriveable in the snow although thankfully there wasn't much of that where I lived. In the winter, the heater was a joke and it was very windy because it didn't have real windows, just side curtains. It wasn't real fast in a straight line but it could sure corner well.

I loved this car and took good care of it but left it in a parking lot one night and some asshole stole it. Security on this car was nil and my insurance company said if they replaced it, my rates were going to at least double so I decided it was time to replace it with some American muscle.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I got married 36 years ago today

I was 24 and still in university in graduate school. At the time, it was the thing to do as most of my friends were married. It was fun while it lasted but 24 is way too young to get married when you think of all the pussy that is out there. Of course I was faithful for about a year and it took her another 5 years to catch me before she filed the papers.

It worked out well for both of us. She married a doctor a few years later and I've been with thousands of chicks so we both got what we wanted. Who's happier? Probably me because I just heard her husband is dying with prostate cancer and I'm still getting laid regularly.

No one ever said life was fair.

Monday, July 9, 2007

If you bought an iPhone

you're either an idiot or a fucking geek-actually you're probably both. I know a lot of successful people and so far not one of them took the bait. But I do admire the job done by Jobs on you suckers. Enjoy your first AT&T bill-idiot.

My first brush with death

Since the title of this blog is "I can't believe I'm still alive", I guess I should post some stare downs I had with the grim reaper from time to time.

The first one goes back to high school in Southern California. I was a 2nd string defensive end on a pretty good varsity high school team. I got into maybe 10-12 plays a game because while I was a tough guy, I was slow. I accepted my lot on the team and enjoyed the game and all the perks that went with it.

It was the late fall of 1963 and we were giving the other team a good ass whuppin so the coach put me in to finish the game. I was playing pretty well and was able to handle my man fairly easily so was feeling pretty cocky, especially being a Friday night game with my girl in the stands, I was really looking forward to the party at the beach after the game.

I never made that party, as a matter of fact I never made anything for 8 days. I woke up from a coma with my family and a few guys from the team looking at me like they had seen a ghost. And I guess they had-me!! I remember 3 things from that moment. I had a huge headache, was hungry as hell and was even hornier. I remembered nothing and when everyone started crying and laughing, I did too because I had no idea what was wrong but I knew it had to be good that I was alive. The doctors and nurses came rushing in before I could talk to anyone and I remember seeing this huge black guy I had never seen before leave my room with the others who were all asked to leave.

The medical staff started asking me questions like what's your name,DOB, what year is it, look at the penlight etc. I finally said "What the hell happened-how long have I been sleeping?" "You've had a serious football accident and have been in a coma for 8 days."

"What the FUCK? Are you kidding me?"

"No, your brain was so swollen that we had to operate to relieve the pressure but you were read the last rites 4 days ago."

"Holy shit-what happened? I remember running out on the field after we kicked off after a touchdown and... and... holy shit, I don't remember anything more."

Well we're not sure but I think it had something to do with that big black kid out there because he has been here ever since you came in and he has been praying with your parents every night and sobbing."

"But I don't even know him-I've never seen him before-he's not on my team."

"His name is Dexter and he's an all conference player for the other team. He said he would give up his scholarship to USC just to see you wake up"

"Holy SHIT!! I gotta find out what happened."

Nobody else but my family was allowed to see me for a few days but my team mates came by often with a few cheerleaders and managed to do all the gross things you would expect through the window. All in the name of cheering me up. Today, it's called flashing.

So what happened? The play developed and was going the other way. By the time I got past my block, it was long gone so I stopped, turned around and started running slowly over to the bench. Then someone screamed "REVERSE" which meant the play was coming back my way. Apparently I turned around just in time to be literally run over by their 230 pound all conference fullback-Dexter. Equipment wasn't great back then and my helmet flew off and my head bounced off the ground like an indian rubber ball. And here I was.

When Dexter finally visited me, he just looked at me and started smiling as he shook my hand and said "Man,I never thought I'd play football again if you died" His hands were like breadbaskets. He was a monster-maybe 5-9, with not an ounce of fat on his 230 pounds. even though we were about the same weight, I had 10 inches on him at 6'7" so his mass was twice mine. His fucking thighs were as big as my waist.

It would make a nice story if we had kept in touch and Dexter went on to be a college and NFL star but I heard he got hurt in his first year at USC and dropped out. I did go on to play college ball but as a walk-on, but it still got me laid a lot in University and that's not a bad thing.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Why do older guys like younger women?

I've read a few posts from whiny women on other blogs about how pissed off they are because all the single men their age are looking for a younger woman. They say things like: "Are they intimidated by us?" "Are they suffering a mid-life crisis?" "Don't they realize that younger women are just interested in their wallets?"

Ive got one thing to say to that. In the last few years I've woken up with with a few different women and any that were even close to my age made me want to leave immediately. Face it ladies, most women over 45 are losing the race against age big-time, and you just aren't as attractive as a younger woman. Most of you have bags under your eyes, wrinkly skin, stretch marks, and no matter how much you work out at the gym, you're body pales in comparison to someone in their 20s or 30s. Besides, you probably have attitude and men hate women with attitudes.

You may be right, maybe younger women are just interested in my wallet, which is a pretty hefty size-but so what? I worked my ass off for it and if I want to be with a younger, attractive woman who will screw my brains out, then I'm going to. My recent fling has been with a 24 year old graduate student. She's bright, incredibly attractive, makes me feel good both mentally and physically and doesn't seem to care about my age. I just took her to Las Vegas for her first time and she now thinks I'm a god and treats me like one.

But don't despair ladies. Let's say you are 50 something. Try someone who is in his 70s or 80s. Hell, they are probably going to find you attractive and they'll pretty much put up with anyone or anything if you're good in the sack. But, if they are loaded, forget about it because when I was playing craps in Vegas, there was a guy next to me, late 70s playing in a wheel chair. This vision of beauty, maybe 30 at most, waltzed up to the table, gave him a hug and wheeled him away for dinner (so they said.) There wasn't a guy at that table including me,that didn't envy that old, lucky fart.

So quit the whining ladies and accept the facts. If someone your age has money, he isn't going to be interested in you.