Didja think I was dead?

After my last post, I'm sure you thought I was out of control and I was. Fuck, I still am but at least I've been sober for a couple of days.

It turns out that my buddy and I got into a fight a few hours after we got to Vegas, thus the black eye, blood on my shirt and no buddy around. We've made up although his wife calls me an evil influence on his life and has told me never to darken their doorstep again. Fuck her if she can't take a joke. Makes me realize what anchors women can be.

Speaking of women, the one I was supposed to have dinner with the night I stayed in Vegas actually got on a plane and came over. Yeah, I paid for the ticket but it was well worth it. We left on Tuesday after I became a valued client of a new hotel there which shall remain nameless for reasons I can't get into. Yeah, I won a few bucks mainly thanks to my Irish ancestry making me bet on Padraig Harrington to win the British Open. I was way up on craps at one point but a drunken night saw it all go back to them. You think I'd learn.

The nice thing about a younger woman like her is she knows that time spent with me has no future cash surrender value. I'll call her in a few days when the sperm count gets back up but right now I don't even think viagra would work on me. Ahhh to be young again.

Why I love Vegas

Man, I haven't done that in a while. I started drinking with an old college buddy Thursday about noon and I just got out of bed a couple of hours ago in Las Vegas-a different city than we started in. Here's what I have found out so far:

• My amex receipts are over 7k including 2 1st class tickets for a 1200 mile flight(It's gonna be more because I still have to pay for a flight back) and a 2k advance for gambling-I guess I lost cuz I got about 50 bucks now.
  
• I have no idea where my friend is that I flew here with-probably back home and his wife is gonna be some pissed
• I have a black eye and my nose hurts a lot-I must have got punched but I don't remember and my knuckles don't hurt which means I didn't hit anyone. I also have blood on my shirt.
  
• I have never stayed in this hotel before but they sure treat you well. When I called the front desk this morning to find out where I was they sent me up a complimentary breakfast of bagels and lox and a split of champagne so I guess they know I lost some money on the tables.

Holy Shit!!! Great news!! I just got finished talking to a casino host who called me. It turns out I won about 9 grand on the craps table and was so drunk that they put my money in the cage and put me in this room which is actually damn nice and they are comping me. When I told him that I had no change of clothes or anything, he offered me a 30% discount at their men's clothing store so I guess I'll head down there and hope they have tall sizes. When I asked him about the blood on my shirt and my black eye, he was told that I turned up at the tables like that so I gotta find out what the fuck happened. He also said I showed up alone so I guess buddy abandoned me.

That's what I love about Vegas. I show up here after an all nighter of boozing, go to the tables, probably make a complete asshole of myself and they look after me.

Well, I've got 17 messages on my cellphone so I'm sure there are some answers in there but I don't have much battery left and no charger with me so I gotta find one before I can check them out. I'm in no hurry because there will be some shit waiting in those messages as well as I was supposed to be at a dinner party last night back home and have a date tonight with a young chick I've been working on for a couple of weeks but with 9 grand sitting in the cage downstairs, that ain't gonna happen.

I'll phone and tell her to get her ass over here. That'll be a good qualifier for her.

All right, lots to do. Check back in a couple of days for the gory details cuz I think this is my last hour of sobriety for another 48 hours.

How to meet a younger woman online

I've hooked up with a few women who I initially met on an online dating site-all under 35 and here's how I do it.

• Post a very recent picture (I often hold up a copy of USA Today with the date on it) and let it be known you expect the same type of photo.
  
• State your true age
• If you want the woman to be attractive then say so.
  
• State that you are looking for someone in a certain age range (23-35 for me) and be very clear that you won't answer anyone outside of that range.
• There is no need to justify why you are looking for someone in the age group-they know why.
• Be very clear what your goals are-if you aren't looking to get married then say so
• If you have money then tactfully state it. I say "Successful retired business man who knows how to treat a lady to the finer things in life." If you don't have money, you're going to have to widen the age gap up to (god forbid) as much as another 20 years if you're busted out.
• No matter how tight money is, always take out the platinum or gold or whatever the highest level of membership is. It signifies you're a player.
  
• Don't lie about anything-but omissions are not always lies
• Don't contact any women yourself because most women in your age group aren't going to be interested in you and that's a lot of wasted effort-let the interested ones come to you.
  

It's a numbers game. 10,000 women look at your profile, 5,000 fit it, maybe 5% have no problem with your age and will contact you and 1/2 of them are what you are looking for. Do the math-that's over 100 that you get to start communicating with. There will be a few scores in there-believe me.

But it's a lot of fucking work and you have to be organized and brutal. Don't worry about sending off 3 or 4 emails to a woman and then deciding you aren't interested. Don't try and be Mr Nice Guy, just don't email her anymore-they'll do the same to you. Remember it's a numbers game.

Is it worth it?

HELL YEAH!!

OMFG-Another reason to avoid older women

This shit is just plain nasty.

The iPhone is a piece of shit and so is your face

You know how I feel about the iphone, well here is a review from a guy called Maddox who will be an old rogue in a few years,
read more | digg story

Older women really do hate me

On Saturday night, I was reminded why older women have absolutely no place in my life. After dinner and a concert I returned with my lady to the hotel. We were staying on the club level of a nice hotel so decided to go for a nightcap in the lounge which is for the use of people staying on that level only. There were 3 other couples in there, mid forties and had obviously had a few drinks as they were quite noisy. No problem, a quick drink and we're off to bed.

As soon as we walked in, I get the looks I'm used to when I'm with someone 35 years younger than me. The men smirk and the women try to hide their shock. I acknowledge them with a courteous smile and we go to sit in the corner by the window when 1 of the men asks us to join them. My companion is fine with it so I say "Sure" as I get myself ready for what I know is to follow.

It was pretty much the same old shit. The men are very friendly to both of us with the normal questions"Where you from, how long are you in town, what have you been doing here etc etc". all the while looking at my lady who is absolutely stunningly exquisite tonight. She is doing a Phd and delights them with her charm,wit and low cut dress. Of course, the women are trying to look non-plussed but they are fuming. They are absolutely ignoring us, especially my lady. One of the men tells me he is an attorney and when I ask what his specialty is, his wife pops in with "divorce, support, you know, marital stuff." And then it comes as she looks directly at me and with a big smile says "Do you need his card?" I laugh out loud and everyone was obviously somewhat embarrassed but Mrs Lawyer never expected what came next and for that matter, neither did I.

My lady : "Why would he need your husband's card?"
Lawyer's Wife: "Well I didn't say he needed it did I dearie? I simply inquired didn't I"
ML: "Dearie? Did you call me dearie? I have an IQ over 160, a 4.0 average, am a lab instructor at a top 5 medical school in a subject that most people can't even spell, have job offers from 4 of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world, and I don't take shit from anyone especially someone who marries an attorney. So don't call me dearie"

SILENCE!!! Then I stand up, take her hand and say to them, "Hope you enjoy the rest of your evening."

What followed was probably the best sex I have had in years-maybe ever.

Vibrator sales are sure to increase.

On a site called Totally Savvy Woman (how's that for an oxymoron?) it says

"Statistics show that many healthy baby boomers, ESPECIALLY boomer women, will live to be 100 years old, and possibly longer?"

My god, I can hardly stand to look at a 40+ woman today, let alone screw one. What are all these wizened up old bags going to do for sex? I gotta get some vibrator manufacturing companies in my stock portfolio.